astrology · personal

Déjà vu, much?

It’s funny how the Universe brings things full circle… not always in a happy, “ohmygodI’msogladthiscamefullcircle” type way, but sometimes in a way that puts you in your place.  A way that teaches you a lesson and inspires you to reflect.  I haven’t meditated in a few days, perhaps this is a reminder that I need to get back in touch with the Universe.  Nonetheless, I am being shown nonverbally what I’ve been dying to know.

The same way I let someone down is exactly how I was let down in the past…  Excuses coated with sugar with some whipped cream on top.  Everything explained so beautifully and heartwarming that you almost for a second don’t get hurt.  Yeah, don’t let the “dancing around the bushes” fool you; sometimes brutal honesty isn’t as brutal as having someone make you believe you ever had a chance.

Believing you had a semblance of a chance only leads the delusional to assume they could ignite that spark again.  What they don’t know is that even if they had the smallest chance in the world, nothing would change the simple fact that it’s just not gonna happen.  But who wants to say that?  Especially to the delusional!  It just isn’t enough.

The delusional need something to grab on to, they crave hope.  It’s easy to just say what they want to hear so that they’ll “go away.”  But once you open that door to their fantasy, you’re in trouble.  I’m sorry, it’s true, and to take back your word about said fantasy will only lead the delusional to say you’re in denial, or to come up with a multitude of other excuses (you’re going through something, you’re stressed…).

It’s really sad, isn’t it?  Or is it sadder to be the detached soul who cannot feel for anyone and can’t let anyone in?  Let’s bring some astrology into this equation:  My Ascendant is Aquarius.  I have my blips in time where I feel so emotionless that it’s almost frightening.  Actually, correction: it IS frightening.  However, when I fall into the bottomless pit that is my Venus in Pisces and Moon in Scorpio, I am frightened too at the depth of my emotions.

I can safely say I understand both sides and to be so involved with your emotions is a blessing and a curse.  To feel this fairytale romance is spiritual and amazing, when it’s with the right person.  But falling for someone who is unavailable, abusive, detached, problematic, or dangerous?  This is life-threatening.

Honestly I want to toss my emotions out the window at times.  I don’t know what I’d do without them and I’m sure I’d go crazy, but being a full-time Aquarius seems like a stress-free life to me.

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personal

E•MO•TION

Shout out to Carly Rae Jepsen for the title of today’s post.  I know I have been posting astrology lately, however this blog is supposed to encompass all of my interests and thoughts.  Here is a personal post…

I saw a tweet made by Gucci Mane the other day.  I know, some people might be questioning where this is going and how he would have said something relatable to mention in this post.  However, he is actually one of my favorite people that I follow – being that he posts words of wisdom that inspire me frequently.  Here is one that resonated with me recently:

gucci

The fact of the matter is that you are a product of your own environment.  This energy that others contain can “rub off” on you.  Once that negative energy has entered you, it becomes you.  People are attracted to those who have the same energy and hold the same vibration as them…  How can you attract the “right people” if you are surrounded by the wrong ones?

The right people are not attracted to this energy I am putting out.  I complain that no one wants to be my friend, and that isn’t necessarily true!  Some people do want to be my friend, but they are not the “right people.”  These right people see that I have occupied my circle with the wrong people.  They do not want to corrupt themselves with that energy… So they run away.  Far.  I only have myself to blame.

It is almost too easy though to fix.  Get rid of the toxicity.  Easier said than done.  I have been at a point in my life where it was easier to suffer with somebody toxic than to suffer alone.  However, I must realize that this “being alone” is one of the most beautiful things I can do for myself.

Being alone allows me to explore and get to know myself.  I can regain confidence, learn new things, find new hobbies, or work a new job.  Doing these things will lead me to being a better person at the end of the road.  At the end of this road will be light – and this light contains beautiful people and beautiful things.

After all of this alone time where I have been able to regroup and better myself, I will be rewarded with everything I have ever wanted.  I set the intention that this will be a successful path that I embark on.  I wish myself all of the luck in the world, and I know I can prosper through this journey.

Xo,

Ash